Next Gen Snapshots
by VanillaMostly
Summary: Drabbles/short stories about various characters, set post HP-epilogue.
1. Floo Call at the Malfoys

**Floo Call at the Malfoys**

"Mum! Dad! I made a friend today!"

Astoria gave her husband a look. _See, what'd I tell you? And you were worried_.

Draco smiled. _Fine, you were right_. "That's great, son. So who's your friend?"

"Albus Severus Potter!"

Draco choked on his tea. "Wh-wh-what?" He stammered like a git before he managed to say, "But - WHY?"

Scorpius did not seem to find this question strange. "Because he's the only other student in the entire school who has a name as horrible as mine!" he said happily. "Oh, there's Albus now! I'm gonna go, talk to you later!"

With a pop Scorpius's head disappeared from the fireplace.

Draco looked at his wife.

She shrugged. "You brought that one on yourself, dear," she said, sipping her tea.


	2. Playing Favourites

**Playing Favourites**

"Mum and Dad do not have 'favourites!'"

"Yes they do, you big knucklehead. And it's obviously me!"

Albus scoffed and crossed his arms. "Oh yeah? What makes you think THAT?"

"Let's see!" said James, holding out his fingers. "One - I'm the firstborn." He ticked one off. "Two - I'm in Gryffindor, and you're in Slytherin." He ticked another one off. "And three - I'm a spankin' good Seeker, and you can't play Quidditch to save your arse."

"Oh yeah?" yelled Albus. He rolled up his sleeves and shoved three fingers in James's face as well. "One - they DON'T care I'm in Slytherin, get that through your thick skull! Two - Dad gave his Invisibility Cloak to ME, not you. Three - I've never gotten detention, and you have... three times! Ha!"

"So what, Dad and Mum's been in detention too - "

"But they sent you that Howler last week, didn't they - "

"SHUT UP!" A girl's voice screamed.

Albus sand James stopped yelling and winced at the shrill sound.

"You're scaring Mimi," pouted Lily. "Be quiet or else I'm telling Mum and Dad! Right, Mimi cutie pumpkin?" she cooed to her new pet Puffskein.

With one last glare at her brothers, Lily turned and sauntered away humming a lullaby to Puffskein Mimi.

James and Albus looked at each other.

They sighed. "It's Lily," they said dejectedly in unison.


	3. A Very Weasley Christmas

**A Very Weasley Christmas**

"Is that Charlie's new girlfriend?" Hermione whispered.

"Oh yes, she's Romanian. She went to Durmstrang," whispered Ginny. "Maybe you should ask Viktor if he knows her," she added, wiggling her eyebrows.

"What are you two laughing about?" asked Ron suspiciously, entering the room with a beer bottle in one hand and a plate of chips in another.

"Your lovely trousers, Ron. Pink ducks are a nice touch."

Rose ran out inside just as Ron threw chips at Ginny. "Are we having a food fight?" she asked. "_Awesome!"_ she cheered.

"That's the attitude, Rosie-Posie."

"Uncle George!" Rose ran over to where George had just entered with his family. "Is that baby Roxie? She's so TINY!"

"Rose honey. Leave the baby alone, she's sleeping."

"Don't bother, Hermione," said Angelina, taking off her coat. "She won't be sleeping for long in this house."

Right on cue, a door banged open upstairs and loud yelling ensued.

"IS THERE NO SUCH THING AS PRIVACY ANYMORE?"

"Dad, Vic and Teddy were about to _shag_ in your old room - "

"MAMA!"

"Wat eez eet, ma chérie? I'm talking weez your Grandmère."

"Fleur," Molly Weasley interrupted. "Thank you for the recommendation but I still prefer Celestina Warbeck. Your French music is just not soothing enough."

At that moment the other Molly Weasley (Percy's daughter) stomped into the living room. "Can we please keep it down? I'm studying for the OWLs!"

Hermione nodded sympathetically. "Sweetheart, as a Granger I can only say this..." she said, reaching for a chip from Ron's plate, "...that ain't happening."


	4. Little Brothers, Big Sisters

HarryPotterNut94**,** thanks! glad you like it. Yes there will be more, I pinky swear. ;)

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><p><strong>Little Brothers, Big Sisters<strong>

"I've just had it with Louis," announced Dominique the minute she met Rose on the way to dinner. "I hate little brothers."

"Did he read your diary again? Why don't you just hide it in a different place?"

"_No, _Rose. He dropped a rat into my schoolbag while I wasn't looking!" Dom cried, shuddering. "It came out during Transfiguration and you KNOW how much Macklin already hates me."

"A rat?" Rose tried to hold back her laugh.

"And that's not all! He drew moustaches on all of the members on my Weird Sisters poster! What's worse, he gave Myron Wagtail a pig snout! A pig snout!"

Rose couldn't do it anymore. She burst out laughing.

"Oh, you think it's funny, do you?" scowled Dom. "I'd like to see you laughing when Hugo does something to you."

"No way," grinned Rose. "Hugo's sweet. He's not the type."

"Lucky you," said Dom grumpily as they climbed through the portrait hole into the Great Hall.

They found their usual seats at the Gryffindor Table, Dom mumbling about how starved she was. Just then a loud fart noise ripped through the hall.

"Oh my Merlin, Rose!" exclaimed Dom.

"It wasn't me - " began Rose, but then a second fart noise ripped again. And it definitely sounded like it was coming from Rose's... you-know-where.

"I swear, I didn't - "

Third fart noise. By this time, Rose knew to stand up and look under her arse.

"A whoopee cushion?" she said, holding up the device.

"A what?" asked Dom.

"It's sold in Muggle stores, but..." Rose examined it closer. "This one's Charmed to keep making noises. And at a magnified volume."

"Just shut it up!" said Dom, whose ears were covered. "People are staring."

Rose thought for a moment, then waved her wand and said, _"Silencio._"

"Who would do this to you?" said Dom after everyone eventually stopped laughing and returned to their food.

Rose narrowed her eyes. "I think I know..."

Later that night, Hugo came out of the shower and screamed bloody-murder when he discovered that his hair was now the colour of flamingos.


	5. To Be Young Again

**To Be Young Again**

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Ge-orge, happy birthday to you!"

There was applause and George Weasley pretended to bow. "Blow out the candles, Dad!" prompted Freddy eagerly.

"Merlin's nightgown," George said. "You know when you're getting old when you need an Engorgement Charm on your cake to hold all the birthday candles."

Everyone laughed.

"Son, you're forty! If you're old, then what am I?" demanded Arthur Weasley.

"Ancient old?" guessed Freddy, which sent another round of laughter.

Ten minutes later the cake was served, music was drifting from Wizarding Wireless Network, and the adults mingled in the parlor while the kids (Freddy, Louis, Lucy and Roxanne) flew around in the backyard (Roxanne on a toy broomstick). Harry and Ron went out to the patio to take a breather.

"Ah, this is the life," said Ron, stretching. "Kids gone to school, Hermione's not bothering me about work."

"It really is peaceful at home without the kids," agreed Harry, having also sent off his youngest this year to Hogwarts.

He and Ron were quiet for a while, watching Freddy chase Louis in the air, screaming with laughter.

"How long has it been since you touched a broom?" Harry asked Ron.

"Last time I did was this summer," replied Ron, "when Hermione made me sweep the kitchen for the in-laws."

"Gin and I used to play Quidditch all the time," mused Harry. "Now she plays with her Holyhead Harpies old teammates while I'm filing paperwork at the office."

"Remember how when we were young we thought Aurors had the coolest jobs ever?" Ron shook his head. "Yet I'm reading more ten-page reports than catching any bad guys. Poorly-written reports. You'd think these kids know how to spell 'incarcerate.'" Ron groaned and banged his head on the rail. "Bloody hell, I'm starting to sound like Hermione!"

"Face it, mate," sighed Harry, clapping Ron on the back. "We're past our prime."

"That's it! Quit it with that depressing talk!"

Ron and Harry turned around at the new voice in their conversation. "Hi, George, Angelina..." Then Harry's jaw dropped when he saw who else was there. "Lee! Alicia! Katie! And... Wood?"

Harry felt a strange sense of deja vu as almost every member of the Gryffindor Quidditch team during his youth were assembled in front of him.

"What're you doing here?" asked Harry after they finished exchanging greetings and hugs.

"We couldn't miss George's grand 4-0, could we?" answered Lee Jordan, slinging an arm around his best friend.

"We wouldn't be late if Lee hadn't INSISTED on using Muggle Transportation," said Alicia Spinnet. "And then forget we needed Muggle money to ride on a Muggle train."

Lee scratched his head sheepishly. "I was just trying to get inspired for a new WWW product!" George patted his best friend's shoulder comfortingly.

"Potter!" Oliver Wood barked suddenly, and Harry snapped to attention... before remembering he was no longer eleven. "Are you forgetting something?"

"Er... I am?" asked Harry in confusion.

Oliver Wood grinned and threw something at Harry and Ron. They caught them. "Brooms?" asked Ron, staring.

"Here's how it'll work," said Wood, who had summoned a whistle and was now blowing it. "Potter, Bell, Birthday Boy and Jordan- you're Team Puppies." Blow. "Spinnet, Johnson, me, and Little Weasley- we're Team Hornets."

"Aren't the team names a bit unfair?" Katie Bell raised an eyebrow.

"How come I'm 'Little Weasley'?" questioned Ron.

"DO YOU WANT TO STAND AROUND AND TALK OR DO YOU WANT THE GAME TO START!"

"This is mad!" Harry laughed to Ron as they took off into the air.

"Wood must be high on something, if you ask me," Ron muttered.

"LITTLE WEASLEY! NO FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY!" bellowed Oliver Wood. "GUARD THE POSTS!"

The next day...

"Yes, yes, right there... OUCH!" Harry winced as his wife massaged his back. Meanwhile several miles away, Ron was hobbling downstairs using Hugo's pogo stick as a cane. "What?" he said when he spotted Hermione looking at him. "At least they didn't win! It was a tie!"


	6. Be Careful What You Wish For

**Be Careful What You Wish For**

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Scorpius and Rose glanced behind them.

"I'M SICK OF YOU TWO ALWAYS YELLING AND SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER!" shouted Albus. "AND I'M TIRED OF ALWAYS HAVING TO PLAY THE PEACEMAKER AND GO-BETWEEN WHEN YOU TWO REFUSE TO TALK AFTER A FIGHT!"

He took a deep breath. "I wish you two would just get along," he said.

Rose and Scorpius exchanged a look.

"Yes, Al is right," sighed Rose. She turned to face Scorpius. "Malfoy - the truth is, I'm madly in love with you."

"Wait - what?" said Albus, doing a double-take.

"Oh Merlin, Weasley," said Scorpius, hand on his heart. "Is that true? Because I feel the same way."

"Are - are you sure?" asked Albus, staring at Scorpius.

"Why don't we go out, then?" suggested Rose.

"I've got an even better idea," said Scorpius. "Why don't we go into the Room of Requirement and make pink-haired babies right now?"

"You read my mind!" said Rose. "But why go that far? Let's do it right here!" She wrapped her arms around Scorpius's neck.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?" screamed Albus, pushing them apart. "WHAT - THIS IS - YOU - DOING THA - AAARRRGH!"

He ran away clutching his head.

Scorpius and Rose watched him go.

"I think we went a bit far," remarked Scorpius.

"Nah, he'll be alright," said Rose, waving a hand. "Anyway, as I was saying you irresponsible twat - "

"Don't even start you prissy stuck-up - "

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><p><strong>Merry Christmas everyone! :) <strong>

**zenbon zakura: omg what a great idea for a chapter! lololol thanks girl **

**HarryPotterNut94: oh yeah more will be comin'!**

**The chapters will be jumping around in time, if you've noticed... Rose, Albus and Scorpius are probably in their 5th- 6th year in this one, while in some stories they will be much younger.**


	7. Dursley Dancin' Dessert

Crissy Grigori**: **thanks, glad you think it's funny!

zenbon zakura: can you tell I LOVE Rose/Scorpius actually? lol. And I'll keep your suggestions in mind. Feel free to give me more ideas, love them!

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><p><strong>Dursley Dancin' Dessert<strong>

"Harry, do you think this is a good idea?"

"Ginny, you know the Dursleys and I are on great terms now."

"Yes, but..."

DING-DONG

"That's them! Lily, get the door!"

Ever since Albus had left for Hogwarts, Lily had been really bored hanging around the house with no one to play with. That's why she was super DUPER excited when she heard Daddy's old friends, the Dursleys, were coming over!

She ran to the door and threw it open. "Welcome, Muggles!" she said brightly.

"Lily," laughed Harry nervously. He nodded at his guests standing there awkwardly on the porch steps. "Come on in, Aunt Petunia, Dudley. Is that Wallace? He looks just like you, Dud."

Lily gasped when she saw that behind Mr. Dursley hid a chubby toddler sucking his thumb.

"HE'S SO ADOR-ABLE!" shrieked Lily.

"Wally, now, don't be shy," said Petunia, scooping Wallace up in her arms. "Say hi to - MOTHER OF GOD, WHAT IS THIS?"

Little Wally was sporting two fluffy bunny ears on top of his head. Petunia glared at Harry.

"Sorry - Lil has trouble controlling her magic these days," said Harry, tugging at his collar. "She doesn't mean any harm, it just happens - you remember with me?"

"Let's just go inside, Mum," said Dudley.

"Yes, yes," said Harry quickly, ushering them in. "Lil," he muttered from the corner of his mouth as he passed Lily. "Get rid of those ears, _please_?"

Lily blinked innocently. "But Wally's so cute like that!"

Dinner proceeded rather smoothly. Harry kept small talk going by asking Petunia how Vernon was doing in the hospital ("Oh, he's alright - cholesterol and blood pressure levels are out of this world, but doctor says he can come home in a few") and everyone, even Petunia reluctantly, complimented Ginny on her cooking. Then came Lily's favourite part of the meal - dessert!

"Mum," said Lily as Ginny put plates of figgy pudding, lemon meringue pie and angel cake on the table.

"Yes, love?"

"How come the sweets aren't dancing today?"

Petunia froze with her fork in mid-air.

"Well, haha," said Ginny, attempting to subtly use her hand to cover up Lily's mouth. "Because they're food, silly. Food can't dance."

Lily removed her mother's hand from her face. "But our dessert always danced before! Did you forget to put in _Mimbulus mimbletonia_, is that why? I saw you add the sprig of honking daffodils!"

"Honking daffodils?" repeated Petunia faintly.

"Oh, Lily's just talking nonsense," reassured Harry. "Aren't you, LILY?"

"I most certainly am not!" frowned Lily. "Using Mimbulus mimbletonia and honking daffodils to bake is a new discovery," Lily explained to Petunia and Dudley. "In fact, my Uncle Neville discovered this and he got the Golden Puffapod Award for it. These ingredients, when combined with sugar, makes food extra tasty, AND it performs a nice jazzy number before you eat it too!"

Petunia and Dudley stared. Wally clapped his hands and said, "Poo-poo."

"It's getting late," said Petunia, laying down her fork. "We should go."

"Right, Wally looks tired," observed Dudley. "Harry, thank you for inviting us. We'll see you next - er... we'll see you. Good night."

The door shut close behind them. Harry and Ginny turned to Lily, arms crossed.

"Warn't my fault," said Lily, chewing cake. "Guess they REALLY wanted to see the dessert dancin'."


	8. Snape's Legacy

dyingimmortal: thanks I love that one too xD

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><p><strong>Snape's Legacy<strong>

"I was named after Lily, my dad's mum. My middle name comes from my Aunt Luna. She's really cool and pretty and she has these adorable twins, Lysander and Lorcan."

The girls cooed, "Awww."

"I was named after my dad's dad. And my middle name Sirius is for my dad's dad's best friend Sirius Black. You might've heard of him; he was the guy who escaped from Azkaban. AND he owned a motorbike."

The guys all murmurred, "Whoa."

"I... I was named after Albus Dumbledore. He was the headmaster of this school and he was the only wizard Voldemort was afraid of. And my middle name is after Severus Snape, another headmaster of this school and who sacrificed his life to fight Voldemort! Plus he was super brilliant at Potions!"

Albus beamed.

No one said anything.

"Dumbledore was GAY," one boy finally piped up. "My mum told me so."

"I've seen Snape's portrait in the Headmaster's office," a girl declared. "He has a really large greasy-looking nose."

"Hahaha, Albus was named after an old gay and a greasy-nosed bloke!" everyone laughed.

Albus hung his head. "Why do I even bother...?" he wondered.


	9. Hugo's Problem

**Hugo's Problem**

"Hugo, why yeh so quiet?"

Hugo didn't answer and just kept poking at his rock cake.

"Cat got yer tongue all o' a sudden?"

"Hagrid," said Hugo. He paused, as if mustering up courage.

"Jus' spit it out, ol' boy."

"I… have this problem. And – oh, never mind."

Hagrid turned away from feeding his breed of Graphorns and waddled over to where Hugo was sitting. "Yeh weirdin' me out, boy. Get ter yer point, will yeh?"

"Oh, alright," said Hugo. "But don't laugh, ok?"

"Promise yeh I won't."

Hugo took a deep breath. "Last night, I had a… strange dream."

"What kind o' dream was it?" asked Hagrid.

Hugo's face turned red. "It was… I can't say it, it's too embarrasing," he mumbled.

"Oh…" said Hagrid. He nodded knowingly and chuckled. "Hugh, boy, everyone's got 'em. Nothin' to be embarrassed 'bout."

"But – that's not all," said Hugo.

"Yeh ain't finished? All righ', go on."

"This morning, when I woke up from the dream… down there..." Hugo turned tomato red. "I was wet."

"Ah…" said Hagrid slowly. "Ahhh. I see." He cleared his throat and put on a reassuring expression. "Don't ya worry, m'boy. 'Cause yeh know somethin'? It happen to me too, back when I was yer age. 'Cept I was a lil' older. Yeh're jus' an early bloomer."

"Really?"

"Yep. Boys yer age go through that sorta thing all the time. It's normal. Yeh've got these… desires, yeh see, yeh can't control." Hagrid coughed and plucked at his beard.

"Oh," said Hugo. He thought about it. "But – my mum says I'm too old to do this."

"Old? Old? Yeh're only eleven!"

"My dad did this when he was only six!"

"Ron? Ron was doin' this when he was SIX?"

"Yeah!" said Hugo. "And his bed would get REALLY wet!"

Hagrid stared at him. "Er… Hugo, what colour was… er, this 'wetness' when yeh woke up this mornin'?"

"Yellow," said Hugo, staring back. "What other color WOULD it be?"

Hagrid closed his eyes. "So I'm guessin' yeh wasn't dreamin' 'bout women?"

Hugo fell back from his chair. "Women? Ugh, I hate girls! Why would I wanna dream about THEM?" He made a face. "No, I had this nightmare about going to class in my underpants!"

Hagrid sighed.

"Well anyway," said Hugo, smiling now. "Thanks for talking to me, Hagrid! I feel so much better now that I got it off my chest!"

He hugged Hagrid. "I'll go write to Mum about it now, she can't get mad at me anymore when she hears YOU still wet your bed when you were even OLDER than I am!"

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><p><strong>I hope you understand the implications here ~ and if you don't, that's ok you're too young.<strong>

**Thanks, Crissy Grigori and zenbon zakura (lol joining forces to terrorize the school? hmm has potential)**


	10. Misunderstood

**Misunderstood**

"C'mon, I have to go!" whined Scorpius, hopping up and down.

"Be quiet, I'm trying," hissed Albus, squinting down at the Marauder's Map. He'd nicked it from James, who had nicked it from their dad's desk, so it didn't count as nicking, did it? They had been looking for the Room of Requirement but after walking in circles for half an hour, all they had to show for their efforts was Scorpius's full bladder.

"Oh no - there's Peeves!" whispered Scorpius, pointing at the Poltegerist zooming closer.

"Let's hide, quick!" Albus grabbed Scorpius and pulled him into the first door he saw. If only he had the Cloak too! But Dad still had it and Albus knew he'd never get it if he ASKED for it... because James asked for it almost everyday to no avail.

"Hey," said Scorpius, looking around. "It's a loo."

Indeed they were in what appeared to be a lavatory. "Wait," said Albus, comprehension dawning on him. He whirled on Scorpius excitedly. "Scorp - this is it! It's the Room of Requirement!"

Scorpius's eyes grew wide. "REALLY?"

"Yes! You wanted to pee, didn't you? My dad told me a story about how once Dumbeldore needed to go to the loo in the middle of the night and, and he walked into a room with a bunch of toilets - and that was the Room of Requirement!"

"WE FOUND THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT, WE FOUND THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT!"

They were so busy whooping and dancing around that they didn't hear one of the bathroom stall doors creaking open.

"Oh, oh... I knew you'd come back someday!"

Scorpius and Albus stopped jumping.

"Who... are you?" asked Albus slowly.

"Harry - you've forgotten me? How mean of you! And - oh, Draco! Why did you wait this long to visit me? I've been so lonely without you!"

"I'm not - " began Scorpius.

"MOANING MYRTLE HAS MISSED YOU TWO SO, SOOOO MUCH!"

With a swoop the bespectacled ghost of 2nd Floor Girls' Bathroom flew towards "Harry" and "Draco," crying tears of passion and longing.

The whole castle was awakened that night by the shrieks of two very frightened boys and a very heartbroken spirit screaming, "WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY? COME BAAAAAACK! IT'S YOUR CUTE LITTLE _MYRTLE_!"


	11. Old Flames

OldToYou-NewToMe, edgefag, Crissy Grigori and zenbon zakura, thanks for reviewing! But guess what, my brainstorm prowess is waning... Only have 3 stories left under my sleeve. Gimme ideas! Yes I did see mentions of Draco/Hermione... but I like to stick to canon, if I can fit in D/H without conflicting w/ canon then... *strokes chin*

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><p><strong>Old Flames<strong>

"Er, Ginny?" Harry asked hesitantly.

His wife slapped his hand away when he tried to touch her on the arm.

"Ginny," Harry said again carefully. "Is it just me or... are you angry at me?"

Ginny finally turned around, and Harry gulped. Her eyes had that wild, blazing look which he had a feeling will NOT lead to her snogging him passionately this time.

"Harry James Potter," Ginny said quietly, taking a step closer. Harry took a step back. "Do you remember what you said to me on our wedding day?"

"Er... you look pretty?" tried Harry.

"_The vows_," hissed Ginny dangerously.

"Oh! Oh! The vows! I... er, I said I'd love you... and care for you... in sickness or-or... er..."

"You promised me," said Ginny, backing Harry into a corner, "that you would cherish me and _only me_ for as long as we both live."

"Yes, that," said Harry hastily. "C'mon, Ginny, I'm sorry I forgot the exact words! It's been twenty years! But - but I'll memorize them from now on, ok?"

Ginny face-palmed. "That's not what I'm mad about, Harry!"

"It's not? Then - what is it?"

Ginny reached into her pocket and threw something down onto the table. "THIS!"

Harry stared down at the table. "Er... these are pictures..." He looked at Ginny. She closed her eyes as if it offended her to look at him and pointed a trembling finger at the photos.

Harry leaned down closer and examined them. Confusion and bewilderment settled in.

"I - I don't understand, Gin," said Harry slowly. "Is this what you're hinting at me to buy for you? These... er, lingerie, is that what you call it?"

Ginny opened her eyes and stared at him.

"Harry... you don't know who she is?"

"Who? The model in these pictures?" Harry frowned down at the pictures. "Er... I reckon she does look a bit familiar..."

At that moment, James bounded downstairs. "Blimey," he said, rubbing his stomach. "I'm hungry! Mum, when we eating lunch?"

He froze in his tracks when he saw the pictures lying on the kitchen table.

Ginny looked at the pictures, then looked at James. James took one glance at his mother's face, and fled.

"JAMES SIRIUS POTTER, YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Albus, upstairs in his room, shook his head as he listened to his mum chasing his brother all over the house. "See, Archimedes?" he said to his owl. "I told James it was a bad idea to hide his Romilda Vane pictures under Dad's pillow."


	12. Fourth Cousins, Once Removed

**Fourth Cousins, Once Removed**

Teddy and Victoire were getting "into the moment" when all of a sudden Victoire broke away from Teddy.

"Vic? What's wrong?"

Victoire avoided Teddy's gaze. "Ted, I'm sorry but..." She bit her lip. "We should break up."

"We should break up?" Teddy let these horrible four words sink in. "It's... it's because I'm a Metamorphmagus, isn't it. You think it's disturbing."

"No, Ted, it's not that! I love your blue hair!"

"Oh... Then - you've found someone else?" Teddy was not angry. He knew Victoire had many admirers; who could blame them, she was part-veela. "I wish you happiness," he said sadly, and turned to leave.

"No, no, you idiot!"

"Then..." Horror suddenly gripped Teddy. "You can't be PREGNANT, can you?"

"Just stop guessing, Ted," groaned Victoire.

"Well, if we're going to break up, I need to know why!" argued Teddy.

Victoire wrung her hands, appearing very stressed out. Finally, she breathed out dramatically.

"Alright," she said at last. "But please don't freak out when you hear this."

Teddy was becoming more and more frightened with each passing second.

"I was looking at the family tree at the Potters' house the other day," whispered Victoire, glancing behind her shoulder to make sure no one was listening (no one was, since they were in a closet). "You know which one I'm talking about... The giant one of the Black family with a bunch of holes blasted off on it - "

"I know which one, Vic. But what does that have to do with us?"

"It has EVERYTHING to do with us!" cried Victoire. She buried her face in her hands. "Oh, Teddy, it's awful! We're fourth cousins, once removed!"

Teddy stared.

"_Fourth cousins, once removed_," whispered Victoire, despair written all over her face.

"Er, Vic - " Teddy started to say.

"We committed incest, I know! Ted, I tried to forget it, I thought if I kept ignoring this horrible dark secret it would go away - but it didn't, Ted, it didn't!"

"Vic - VIC!"

Victoire stopped hyperventilating and looked at her boyfriend.

"Fourth cousins, once removed," said Teddy, "is NOTHING, Vic."

"What do you mean it's nothing?" asked Victoire. "It means we're COUSINS."

"Vic..." said Teddy patiently. "It may be weird to you but FIRST cousins get married around the world all the time. We're FOURTH cousins."

"Once removed," added Victoire.

"Once removed makes us even LESS related, ok? Besides, all the pureblood wizards are related to each other somehow. Your grandparents are probably more closely related than we are!"

"Now that you mention it..." Victoire nodded vigorously. "That's right, one of the Blacks married a Weasley and one of the Blacks married a Prewett!"

Teddy grinned at her. "So… are we still breaking up, Cuz?"

"No way," said Victoire. She pulled Teddy closer and smiled the kind of angel's smile that made boys jump off rooftops. "…As long as you don't call me 'Cuz'."

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><p><strong>According to Harry Potter Wiki, these two are... fourth cousins, once removed! lol it was a sticky moment for me when i found out... but seriously if you think about it it's not a big deal. I don't know why in the US it's such a taboo thought... but... Ok I don't wanna think about this anymore! it's making my head hurt!<strong>


	13. Muggles vs Wizards

**Muggles vs. Wizards**

"Oh man," groaned Albus. "I don't know what to do!"

"Stop it," said Rose. "You already chose Care of Magical Creatures, you just need one more." She pulled over the list of electives Albus had been poring over. "Do you like math?"

"You know I'm bad enough with multiplication."

"Arithmancy's out, then... Are you a fan of adventure, breaking codes, solving mysteries?"

"I'm not taking Ancient Runes with you, Rose."

"It's really interesting!" protested Rose.

"No," said Albus flatly.

Rose shook her head and returned to the list. "Are you ever so fascinated with predicting people's futures?"

Albus gave Rose a look.

"Just asking," she smirked.

"I hate that woman," grumbled Albus.

"You could always take Firenze," pointed out Rose.

"And be in a class full of drooling fangirls? No thanks."

Rose shrugged and glanced back down at the parchment. "Congratulations," she said, patting her cousin on the back. "You're in Muggle Studies!"

"What?"

"It's the only one left," said Rose, showing Albus the parchment. Indeed all electives were crossed out except for Muggle Studies.

"That's ALL the electives we have here?" Albus banged his head on the table. "Hogwarts needs to get some more."

Rose frowned. "Now what is wrong with Muggle Studies!"

"Well, nothing," said Albus. "Except that it's really _boring_."

"Excuse me?" cried Rose, which earned her dirty looks from a group of fifth-years sitting nearby. She lowered her voice. "Muggle Studies is NOT boring. There's so much to learn about Muggle life!"

"I've got a Muggle-born aunt, remember?" said Albus in annoyance. "And my dad grew up with Muggles. And Granddad Weasley's a Muggle fanatic. I know enough about Muggles."

Rose scoffed. "Then explain to me how an airplane stays airborne in the sky without a levitation charm."

"That's beside the point," said Albus, not wanting to admit he didn't know what an airplane was. "Basically Muggles can't use magic, right? What's so fun about learning that?"

"I see why you were sorted into Slytherin," said Rose acidly.

"I'm not saying Muggles are INFERIOR to wizards," retorted Albus. "I'm just saying they can't do anything much without magic. Can they travel from China to South Pole in two seconds? No. Can they turn a lamp into a flowering shrub? No."

"I beg to differ!" said Rose angrily. "Let me ask you this... Can wizards talk to someone across the globe without using Floo powder? Muggles can, with something called a _cellphone_. Can wizards get up-to-date information about anything they want from their bedroom? Muggles can, with something called the _internet_! Can wizards play a simulation game of shooting - "

Suddenly Rose noticed Albus was making a slashing motion on his neck with his hand.

At the same time she became aware that the air suddenly felt icy cold.

"_Arguing in the library_?"

Rose swallowed and faced the ghost of Madame Pince, who died ten years ago, crushed to death by a bookshelf in a tragic accident and never left.

"OUT - BOTH OF YOU - OUT!"

Later that week...

"Aha! So you are taking Muggle Studies!" Rose smiled. "I knew I'd convince you."

"Please," said Albus. "I'm not taking Muggle Studies 'cause it's FUN."

Scorpius slung an arm around his friend's shoulder. "It's 'cause Professor Chang is HOT!"

"She's married!" cried Rose, scandalized.

"SO?" said Albus and Scorpius together. They high-fived each other and ran away laughing.

Rose rolled her eyes. "Boys..."

* * *

><p><strong><span>Hercules3000<span> and Agent Green Dolphin, thank you! :) I will be updating at a much slower pace after this chapter, because 1) I only have 1 more story left in my cache and 2) I'm back in school now so don't have that much time to brainstorm/write new stories. But don't worry this fic will continue whenever inspiration strikes! :D**


	14. Old Flames II

**Old Flames II**

"EAAAWAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"_Ron_," said Hermione peevishly as another group of Muggle children ran away screaming from the Weasley-Granger house. "Stop using magic to scare the children."

"Hermione, you know I can't use magic in front of Muggles. It's against the law!"

"Then put away that stupid mask and hand out treats like a normal person."

Ron slid off his strangely realistic werewolf mask (a new popular Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes merchandise) and grinned. "C'mon, Hermione, it's not Halloween if you don't scare someone."

"You don't have to be scared to have fun," sniffed Hermione.

"But you have to admit, it's a lot more fun when you do have the crap scared outta you... Remember our first Halloween at Hogwarts? _Oh no Ron, Harry, come save me! I'm attacked by a troll!_"

Hermione smacked Ron. "I don't sound like that!" she said, but let out a grudging laugh.

Just then the doorbell rang again.

"You want to do the honors, m'lady?" asked Ron, offering Hermione the mask like it was a bouquet of flowers.

Hermione must have been hanging out with the Weasleys for too long, for she found herself saying, "Fine, just this once."

Ron switched off the lights as Hermione put on the mask. She approached the door, feeling oddly breathless.

Ron, hiding behind the couch, chuckled to himself when he heard a blood-curdling shriek slice the air. "Nice one, Hermione!" he said, jumping up from his hiding spot.

"... Won-Won?"

Ron paused. That voice...

He turned towards the doorway. And saw Lavender Brown, transparent from head to toe, gazing forlornly at him.

Ron fainted.

Hermione finally stopped shrieking and choked out, "I'm sorry - Lavender - please _don't haunt us_ - rest in peace!" and slammed the door shut.

Lavender Brown walked off the porch sadly.

"I guess they didn't think it was funny," she said in a small voice.

Parvati Patil, also wearing a Ghost-Impersonator Cloak (a new popular Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes merchandise), clicked her tongue indignantly. "Forget them, Lav-Lav. Let's go scare the Finnigans next," she said, taking her girlfriend's arm. "Honestly, some people have no sense of humor!"


	15. A Little Bit of Love is All It Takes

**A Little Bit of Love is All It Takes**

"Is it just me," said Albus, "or does your dad not like my dad? I fold."

"I'd say it's more like your dad doesn't like MY dad," said Scorpius. "I call."

"Well, actually, Albus's dad gets along with your dad, or at least pretends to. It's MY dad and YOUR dad who still have major issues. They don't even try to be courteous to one another."

"No one asked you, Weasley. Show your hand."

"Up yours, Malfoy. Ha, my pair's higher, I win!"

"Beginner's luck," grumbled Scorpius.

"Can we play, can we play PLEASE?" begged Lily.

"No, you two are too young, go play chess," said Albus, shuffling the cards. "You know, I think grown-ups are stupid sometimes. What's the point of hating each other?"

"Yeah," shrugged Rose. "But nothing you can do about it."

Lily shut the door to the older kids' room and turned to look at Hugo. "THEY'RE the ones who are stupid," she said, crossing her arms sulkily.

"We can play chess," said Hugo hopefully.

Lily didn't appear to have heard him. "They always say 'we're too young this, we're too young that!'" Slowly a smile grew on her lips. "We have to show them we're smarter than them, BETTER than them!"

"Er, Lily, you already heard Albus, they won't let us play poker - "

"Hugo, I'm not talking about poker!" Lily's eyes had that gleam which made Hugo uneasy, though he didn't know why. "Listen, I have a REALLY GOOD idea... You have to help me..."

15 minutes later

"So what do you do now, Malf - I mean, Draco?"

"I'm a lawyer."

"A lawyer? What office?"

"... Muggle-Liason."

"Oh - so you're working with Muggles? Helping them? Defending them?"

"Ron, shut up."

"Harry, I'm just asking simple questions."

"It's ok, Potter," said Draco Malfoy. He sneered at Ron. "How's your shop, Weasl - I mean, Ronald? I'm sure you're making a real difference in the world selling _fake zombie toys_."

"Hey, those are a real hit!"

"Oh yes, you're earning Galleons off hardworking parents by luring their brats..."

"Listen here you prick- "

"Dad?"

The three men in the sitting room turned to see two little kids standing wide-eyed by the stairs.

"Er... " Ron coughed. "What is it, Hugo?"

"Lily, shouldn't you be in bed?" asked Harry.

Lily came over, dragging along Hugo and smiling widely. "Well Daddy, before we go to bed Hugo and I thought it'd be nice to get you, Uncle Ron and Uncle Draco some tea, you see?"

The dads - even evil dad Malfoy - softened a little at this completely "awwww" moment.

"Thanks, Lil," grinned Harry and accepted his cup. "It smells good, what kind is it?"

"Green," said Lily the same time Hugo said, "Oolong."

"Oh well," laughed Ron. "Whatever tea it is, I like it."

"It tastes alright," said Draco grudgingly, sipping his.

Lily smiled knowingly at Hugo and the two of them ran off, giggling.

"They're acting kinda funny," said Harry. "Don't you think so, Ron? Ron?"

He turned around and almost fell out of his chair. "OH MERLIN - WHAT ARE YOU - "

At that moment the front door opened and the wives returned from their shopping spree. Ginny and Astoria were chattering about something and crashed into Hermione, who had frozen in her tracks.

"EAAAAGGHHHH!"

Alarmed by the scream, Albus, Scorpius, and Rose came sprinting downstairs. "What's going on, Mum, is there a fire ..."

The three of them stared at the scene before them, and all words died in Rose's throat.

"Oh... wow," said Albus slowly. He clapped Scorpius's shoulder with one hand, and Rose's shoulder with another. "Know what this means?"

He leaned close to their ears and whispered, "You two might become step-siblings."

The house was full of several loud shrieks of horror that night.

Meanwhile...

"I told you my idea was ingenious!" said Lily happily to Hugo. "See? They don't hate each other anymore!"

"I guess so," said Hugo. "But now... should I put these back?"

"Yeah, definitely," nodded Lily. "I don't want my mum to know I took her love potions. They're antiques, after all, she's had them since she was a teenager!"


End file.
